Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself
I came from a working class family, a socio-economically deprived area of the UK, and I lived a pretty sheltered life up until the age of 18.
I was bullied at school for being the only kid in class who didn’t wear Adidas trainers because our family couldn’t afford it.
For most of my early adulthood I struggled with low confidence, low self-esteem and self-doubt.
Whilst I did really well in school, when it came to real life success - I knew nothing.
I was shy, I couldn’t talk to strangers and I hated small talk. I was amazed by people who would go travelling by themselves, and I’d say, “I couldn’t do that!”
I was shocked when one of my best friends at the age of 22 said “I’m going to start my own business”. I laughed at her in disbelief.
It seemed outrageous that she thought she could do something like that because to me that was something WAY out of our reach.
"I could never run my own business!" I told people.
When I started my career I watched others get promoted and I had no clue how I’d ever manage to achieve the same. ‘What have I got to offer?’ - I pondered cluelessly.
Because of subconscious childhood programming I always believed that I didn’t have money and will never be rich. When I found out that some life coaches charge over £100 per hour I was gobsmacked. That felt like a distant dream.
As for relationships, I was never successful in those either. I didn't think I'd ever be good enough for an attractive, successful guy and screwed up relationships when I did manage to get in one.
And because of an unhealthy obsession with trying to achieve ‘the perfect body’ I had symptoms of orthorexia, where I tried to strictly control my diet - only for it to have the extreme opposite effect.
A major turning point in my life was when my university boyfriend dumped me not long after we moved to London. He was the reason I moved there and so without him, I had not much else going for me.
That’s when I realised I needed to take responsibility for my life.
I didn't want to be the person that says "I can't"; I wanted to be the person that said "I did".
And the only thing stopping me, was myself.
So I decided to become the person I wanted to be and start creating a life I love.
First of all, I designed my ideal life on paper (I call it my ‘Love Life Plan’, which you can download here), according to 8 different values: career, finance, friends & family, love, hobbies, travel & adventure, physical health, and mental wellbeing.
I decided what I wanted for each area, and I've spent my life since putting it all into place.
But in order to do that, I had to change who I was. I had to grow. I had to let go of my old stories about myself. I had to reinvent who I was. Big time.
Most people read a lot of books and ideas about self-change.
I use these books and ideas to change myself, as well as go on courses, new experiences, and hire the best coaches, so that I can truly implement them in my life.
Thanks to doing so, the things I’ve achieved include:
becoming fully self-employed
doing my dream job (life coaching)
being location independent (I can work from anywhere in the world)
earning double what I ever believed I could
travelled to 40 countries, many times alone
emigrating to Spain (also alone)
oozing with confidence and proactive with making friends
dating an attractive, successful man
in the best shape of my life and very strong
ticking several things off my bucket list each year
generally living a lifestyle I love
Against all odds, I’m living the life of my dreams, a life I’ve built from scratch.
How did I do it? How did I make this transformation?
By investing in myself. By investing in coaches. By learning how the human psyche works. By challenging my beliefs about myself. By re-writing my story.
Don’t get me wrong - I’m still learning, growing, and evolving. I believe that personal growth is never complete.
But I have successfully transformed myself and my life.