The first break up, I quickly discovered was a blessing in disguise. The second, well that was simply due to bad timing. Despite not even looking for a guy when I met him, we were blown away by each other. Sadly his plans to be in the UK changed, therefore so too did his plans to be with me.
As Monday morning rolled around after receiving the news, I lay in bed, bleary eyed, and tired. I knew I had one of two options:
Stay in bed, half awake half asleep, skip the gym, and ruminate about how life sucks.
Or, I can get straight up, go to the gym anyway, and, whilst still no less sad, I can find ways to make the most of the situation. I can be grateful for what we had. I can be free of commitment which might have become an obstacle to achieving a couple of my own dreams, like myself living abroad too.
It made me think of the times that I sit in my apartment just listening to music. I choose the sounds to fill it with, just like I choose the sounds to fill my mind with.
Putting on a different record isn’t about suppressing emotions or running away from reality – my apartment looks the same no matter what music I play, and I still feel the pain of the loss. But when you walk into that flat, would you rather hear your favourite tune, or someone singing worse than an X Factor reject?
The moment we recognise that we are in control of our thoughts, is the moment we become free. You will notice monumental shifts in your life when you start to take ownership of your thinking. By all means, give yourself the time to feel the pain of whatever has hit you. And this applies to anything in life, not just relationships. But pay attention to your thoughts. Are they negative? Are they self-deprecating? What is the opposite of those thoughts? What can you learn from the experience? How can you use the new situation to your advantage?
Responsibility is quite simply, the ability to choose our response. In other words, as Stephen Covey puts it: response-ability.
What makes the difference in life is not what happens to us, but how we react to it.
Be the DJ in your life.
Choose your response; choose your music.