The reason why you don't get what you want in life

A career you love. A bigger salary. A great circle of friends. A wonderful relationship. The freedom to travel. A drop-dead body. All things that are at the top of pretty much most people’s letter to Santa, right? But the percentage of people that actually have them, is few, and having ALL of them, even fewer!

Be honest with yourself, where in your life are you settling for less than what you really want? And not really doing much about getting them?

What are your “reasons” for not having them? Brexit? A mortgage to pay? A shy personality that you blame your mother for?

Well I’m sorry, but I’m calling bulls**t on you. These aren’t the reasons you don’t have what you really want in life. The reason is because you’re not willing to do what it takes to get them.

It’s not easy to save enough money to buy a house, or to feel confident in meeting new people, or to quit your job and start your business. It's not easy to put yourself out there. It's not easy to change. 

Take it from me: as someone who works-out at the crack of dawn 5 times a week, and who has her own business, it’s hard work. I don’t jump out of my bed with bright eyes saying “Yes, I can’t WAIT to exercise now!’ There are days that I am at my laptop all hours of evenings and weekends when my friends clock off at 6pm and go out and enjoy themselves. In the early days there were times when I wasn’t even sure how I was going to pay the rent at the end of the month!

But this was the struggle I chose. Why? Because the thought of having to work a 9-5 (or more realistically 8-6) and having to negotiate my time off felt far more painful to me. The thought of feeling guilty and unfit is far more painful than the pain of getting my ass out of bed to exercise each day. The thought of being lonely is worse than the thought of having to say hello to the person I’d like to become friends with.

Success in any aspect is not easy. And whatever path you choose in life, there will be difficulties and downsides that come with it, in as much as there will be rewards and highlights too. So rather than choosing what you want and being miserable about not getting it, choose your journey instead. Choose the path with its rewards and difficulties and walk it. If you find yourself moaning about your circumstances, realise that you are choosing those circumstances and there are always alternatives you can choose. You just got to be prepared to work for it.

And look, hiring a coach is painful too. It's painful to part with money in return for something that is so intangible. It's not easy to self-reflect and look in front of the metaphorical mirror that working with a coach forces you to do. But what's worse: the pain of that, or the pain of staying the same? The pain of producing the same, mediocre results? The pain of staying stuck and not achieving those dreams?

You choose.