The Secret to Unlimited Confidence
In conversation with a client today, one of the things that came up towards the end was about her ambition to learn to speak Italian.
She would like to spend 3 months in Italy to learn the language, but she also said: "I know it's going to be a real struggle - I tried learning before and it was really hard for me."
This to me rang as an alarm bell.
It was a way of seeing that was not serving her, for two reasons.
First, she was judging herself as not being very good or capable at learning a new language, AND, she was judging the experience of acquiring a new language as "a struggle".
At which point I shared with her the secret to having unlimited confidence.
I explained that confidence is simply your belief in your ability to do something.
Well quite frankly, right now, she doesn't have the ability to speak Italian.
But does that mean she can't be confident?
Not if she believes she has the ability to learn.
The secret to unlimited confidence then, is believing you are able to learn and improve at anything.
Because then it does not matter if you don't yet have a particular skill, because you DO have the ability to improve at it.
And this is true for everyone. The brain is designed to learn and adapt, at any age.
It's what neuroscientists call 'neuro-plasticity'.
Which means it's a scientific fact that you are always able to learn new skills.
But only if you BELIEVE you can.
Simply believing you can improve and learn new skills will mean you actually do so. And believing the contrary will keep you stuck at your current level of ability.
So it’s not your level of ability or intelligence that matters - but what you believe.
Which is why my clients see transformational results when they work with me - because we systematically change their core beliefs.
Try it on yourself! Next time you find your confidence at your ability to do something is wavering, remind yourself that you are able to learn anything, and see how it helps.
Create a declaration “I am able to learn and improve at anything” - and remind yourself of the truth of this every morning before you start your day.
The other thing I wanted to address was her labelling of the experience of language-learning as a struggle, for this wasn't helpful either.
One thing I always stress to my clients is just how much our words actually CREATE our experience, not just describe them.
And so by using the word 'struggle', she was CREATING that experience of resistance. It wasn’t how it actually was, it was just a totally subjective label that she’d chosen to apply to it.
Instead, we decided to label ‘learning a language’ as fun, easy and interesting, because by labelling it this way, it will have it actually feel this way too.
And, no doubt help her to learn it a lot faster!
Where are you experiencing resistance in your life?
What are you finding hard to create, do, or achieve?
Write to me and let me know - I’d love to hear from you and help.